Saturday, April 30, 2011
Parenting has been a real challenge lately. My mood swings, coupled with the normal moods and angst of a 13 year old girl, make for a not to peaceful household at times. I am doing my best to have an awareness of what I am feeling but the reality is I fail at times. Many amends have been made.
I am "it" when it comes to the parent in this house. That means I am the only one who says no. I'm the only one that "ruins" her (very unrealistic at times) plans. I am the she devil! Just ask her! lol
For the most part I can accept this. Some days I am just a big walking, hurt feeling. A lot of times lately I mourn for the relationship between mother and daughter we had in the past when she couldn't get enough of snuggling on the couch,etc.
This morning I started the day out with nature, my higher power. I took my coffee and went and sat by the river and listened to it's roar. Directly to the right of this picture is a major bridge. The river is so loud that if I turn my back to the bridge the bridge no longer exists. All I can see is river and bluffs. The only sound is the roar of the water. Safe and only a 5 minute drive from my home.
I prayed for strength and asked for a little peace in my head today in order for me to facilitate peace in my household today. I gave thanks for the beauty of my surroundings and the ability to get out of bed and out of the house this morning.
In return I am sitting here on my couch, with my daughter all wrapped up in her blanket while she watches videos and texts. The gift of the moment is that she has her legs snuggled up against me as we sit, each of us content in the moment.
I'll take that as amazing grace.